Godzone? Hmmm...maybe...maybe not

Remember when they told us this was Godzone
Before Muldoon was gone
When they put on a concert party for every tourist
When the real kiwi bloke only ate meat
and slapped one up the sheila when she was on heat
When the old man was watching sport on tv
and the old lady was wishing she was free
when the boy would clean the car
before he hit the tar
and the daughter would be in her pre heat curlers
before her heavy date
with her skin tight wranglers
when the baby's nappies were full of piss
and 2.7 kids would guarantee suburban bliss
a time when all your nightmares
were washed in a horrible, deep dark blue
the sheep would go to church
on a Sunday, and pray
that the shitheap would be cleansed one day
When Bowie pulled as big a crowd as the Blacks vs the Boks
In the land of Rugby, Racing and Beer
Sat nite smash over a queer
When molesters started making the news
but not the one wearing the catholic shoes
bless another bottle of port
he's never gonna get caught
when at eleven pm the country was dead
the goodnight kiwi having put
the sane and normal slaves to bed
And giant liquor junkies
could buy up beehive flunkies
when dickheads would give bastards knighthoods
for milling the native woods
and remember when it was
compulsory gym frocks
and sand paper shorts
when the race would start with school reports
It was fucked but that's taken as read
got to get to work, need more money,
the Joneses are getting ahead
If this ever was Godzone
then God must be fucken bent
what are we?
God's little experiment.

copyright: PK Publishing 1984